Clem Oluwole

On November 3, 2016 or thereabouts, President Muhammadu Buhari shocked the nation when he confessed that he contemplated absconding from office shortly after he was inaugurated as President on May 29, 2015. He said the ongoing economic crisis made him feel he was suffering the consequences of someone else’s transgressions.
Buhari’s lamentations came off his lips while hosting members of the National Institute for Policy and Strategic Studies (NIPSS), Kuru, who visited him at the Presidential Villa, Abuja.

One of the ogres was the state of near bankruptcy of 27 out of the 36 states. They were unable to pay salaries to their workers. Then, there was the near empty till at the federal level. And the price of crude oil had plummeted to $30 per barrel.
As we all know, Buhari is not someone from a civilian background. He was a military commander during the Nigerian Civil War that lasted for 30 months and later became a General Officer Commanding (GOC), and head of state while still hovering around 40.

When I read about Buhari’s thought of absconding, I remembered the Yoruba adage that says life is a battleground, and only strong men are found there. Aso Rock is a battleground in its own respect. Every seat of power is! So, occupying the Villa, though beautified with attractive lawn, cannot be a stroll in the park. Buhari should have known that. He would have let down not only the Buharists but also his former constituency whose hallmark is courage in the face of any adversity.

When President Buhari’s medical vacation in London was extended at   the behest of his doctors after about a month-long stay, many leapt into conclusions that at long, long last, the President had smartly absconded, leaving his Vice, Yemi Osinbajo, to face the unpleasant music.
However, the nation was just coming to terms with this development when the cyber space became awash with the story that the real reason behind Buhari’s latest trip was not to recheck his perennial hearing ailment as we were made to believe.

He was said to have been poisoned! The purveyor of this dangerous twist is a certain cleric named Malam Nasir Abdurrahman. Nasir is peddling the divisive gospel in mosques across the length and breadth of Buhari’s home state, beginning from Funtua which is believed to be the hotbed of radicalism, claiming that some characters around Buhari want him dead so that they could take over his administration and “inherit” the over N70trn he has sucked into the coffers.

But a patriotic and courageous Nigerian, Umar Tata, in his reaction, asked a pertinent question: If the Federal Government has that quantum of money at its disposal, why should the President go through the hassle of looking for N7trn loan to run his administration?
We should pull away from such dangerous rumour that is capable of plunging this country into anarchy in view of the religious coloration added to it which implies that the Christians would be the ultimate beneficiaries should Buhari pass on.

Let me quickly recall the ordeal of the former president, Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, who was (reportedly) poisoned during a state visit to The Gambia in December, 2013. According to the report, the chef at Coco Ocean Hotel where Jonathan and his delegation were quartered, allegedly laced the ex-president meal with a charm known as “saffara” on the instruction of the then Gambian strongman, Yahya Jammeh. The talisman was intended not to kill Jonathan but to make him a puppet in the hands of Jammeh who was notorious for his voodooism and witchcraft.

A fetish Jammeh became scared when his guest developed a serious tummy disorder which eventually landed him in a London. He was lucky to survive the attack.
Food poisoning resulting in gastro intestinal disorder is a global phenomenon. Last year alone, no fewer than 70m people worldwide came down with food poisoning. It is part of our existence caused by eating contaminated meals in most cases. I once had such an attack several years ago in Jos. I was driving along the Plateau Hospital when suddenly, my tummy began to rumble. I quickly stopped the car and leaned forward to the passenger seat to empty the content which I had ingested at a restaurant a few hours earlier.

It is the main reason why I hardly eat out.
When I narrated my ordeal to an uncle of mine, he was worried. He believed that I was poisoned at the restaurant by someone and decided to fortify me with two types of talisman. One was prepared with wall gecko and red parrot tail feather. The other one had lightning bug as the main ingredient. According to him, if my enemy laced my meal with poison, a wall gecko bearing the parrot feather in its mouth would surface the moment the food was served, to warn me if it was in the daytime. And if it was in the night, a pack of lightning bugs would swarm on the food like ants on sugar.

Now, the trillion naira questions: Who around Buhari would want him dead? If Buhari drops dead today (God forbid), will the N70trn be shared among the crooks as if the cash is kept in his private vaults? What sense does it make killing the goose that lays the golden eggs? Would it not be better if they cast a spell on their cash cow so that they could be milking him of the trillions they believe he is sitting on? And come to think of it, did the Muslim votes alone win the presidency for Buhari? There were Muslims who did not vote for him.
Back to Jammeh’s “saffara” on Jonathan which backfired.

The ex-Gambian strongman did not intend to harm him. He must have heard that Jonathan was an ATM with no secret pin (as revealed by one of his ministers) and wanted to have his own share of the windfall just as the crooks in government used and misused him to milk Nigeria dry.
Let me round up this piece with this popular aphorism that says he who fights and runs lives to fight another day. So also, he who rules and runs lives to rule another day!

Leave a Reply