Joy Oboyi is a youth advocate for Education as a Vaccine (EVA), a non-governmental organisation. She is also a member of Adolescents and Young People Living with HIV/AIDS (AYPLHIV). In this interview with ENE OSANG she shares touching experiences growing up and not knowing her status, among other issues.
How did you learn about your HIV positive status?
I was infected from birth. I was born positive. There is this socio-cultural norm that people always think young HIV positive girls got infected because they are promiscuous but this is not true. Being positive is not my fault.
One of the challenges I face is the issue of disclosure because I cannot imagine me as a young girl being infected with HIV.
My dad, who I thought I was so close to didn’t disclose my status to me. I had been taking these drugs and didn’t know. When I was in primary school I always went to school with my drugs and when I was asked why I took the drugs and I always said I didn’t know.
But as I grew older I learnt that I was positive and I needed to always take my drugs to help myself and that is when I was when I became more serious with it.
How old were you when you found out and did it affect you in any way?
When I knew about my status the issue of self stigmatization came up. I stigmatized myself to point of thinking that if I have a walk with a friend they may know and get infected too. So, for some time I couldn’t go out, I started missing school. It was not until I got information and came to Abuja.
I was 15 years old when I got to know my status but already I have had unprotected sex. Again, at 16 when I was in SS2 I was raped because I grew up in a ghetto. I become pregnant and I didn’t know.
My teachers then always asked why I was getting bigger but I couldn’t give any reasonable answer and I was going to school for six months with the pregnancy. When the pregnancy became obvious my dad got the person who raped me arrested but after a while he was released.
I was so pained because this boy ruined my life. I had to stop school because of him while he moved on with his life freely.
It was because of the frustration my sister came to Jos from Abuja to bring me here with her.
My sister works with Society for Family Health and she linked me with the Association of Positive Youths Living with HIV. Then a programme came up and she advised me to participate and go further to achieve my goals in life and not let my life end just like that.
I was lucky I also got to work with Education as a Vaccine (EVA) as a youth advocate and that was how I started my life from the scratch again.
This turn in my life made a great impact on me because I got to learn that as a young girl I have a right to sexual and reproductive health. Many others, particularly in rural areas, do not know about this and so young girls get pregnant on a daily basis. Recently, I heard that my friend’s younger sister, who is not up to 18 years old, is pregnant. Unfortunately the society blames everything on the girls.
Today, there is no adequate parent/children relationship, parents do not pay much attention to their girl-child and they don’t even care about the changes in their bodies. How many parents care to ask their daughters about their menstrual cycle? This is not helping matters.
How was your relationship with people before your discovered your status?
I was free because I didn’t know. All I knew was I always had to take my medication but when I discovered, like I told you earlier, I stigmatised myself. I didn’t really have friends any longer except for a few very close friends that I told and we are still friends till today. I started hiding myself because of the misconceptions that usually comes with disclosing your status.
Would you blame people for this, nobody wants to be infected?
I won’t blame people but it boils down to socio-cultural norms. Also, at the initial stage of HIV once you see the logo what comes to your mind is death, people just believe it is a death sentence, that there is no cure for it. People also believe it is only transmitted through sexual intercourse but that is not true.
So, what information did you get that is helping you live better?
I now know that there is an anti-stigma law which protects HIV positive persons. For instance, if somebody goes around disclosing my status to people I can charge that person to court because my right has been violated.
The federal ministry of health, NACA, and other relevant stakeholders still have to intensify advocacy at rural communities and involve parents, religious and traditional leaders to know what is happening and encourage people to get tested for HIV.
Even educated people, who work in organisation and agencies won’t allow their children get tested for HIV but with constant awareness creation parents will be well informed to pass information to their children, particularly the youth, because they are more at risk.
If the young people get the right information early, they will have positive attitude and begin to control themselves, especially the way they have sex, unprotected sex in particular, will reduce.
If young people have access to sexual and reproductive health information and are aware of their rights the rate at which young people get infected with HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases (STDS) as well get pregnant would also reduce.
There is actually an anti-stigma discrimination law and I appeal that those responsible for implementing these laws should do so. It is only when these laws are truly implemented that discrimination against people living with HIV/AIDS can be reduced, if not stopped.
