There is an interesting book about dating called The Rules. The book says that coming off as overly needy will drive people away. The most attractive quality to both men and women, is confidence. The more a person is insecure, or talks about why there seems to be reasons to feel insecure, the more others will notice the things that one points out. Here are some tips on how to worry less about whether your partner will cheat on you.
- Be confident in yourself
If you feel, about yourself, that you are quite a catch, then he or she will probably feel that way about you too; that’s the key to keeping someone in love with you:
* Don’t be paranoid. Yes, people cheat all the time in our modern society, but that doesn’t mean you** should be paranoid about it. If you get paranoid, it will make you insecure, overly worried, and controlling, which are all very unattractive qualities.
* The more jealous you may become, and interrogate whom ever you are with, the more the other won’t like being around you. No one wants someone asking questions all the time and being suspicious. No one wants the life’s-partner to be non-trusting and non-accepting.
* Show that you think your loved one really is trustworthy, and that you expect trustworthiness. If you always treat one as a cheater, then it might become a self-fulfilling prophecy. You might create the very thing you were so worried about. You might cause the very thing to happen that you were trying to prevent.
- Don’t look at the other person’s phone
The odds are that you will find something to worry about. Don’t go there. If you don’t find something suspicious, you will invent something to be suspicious about. Trust and let one have the freedom of doing what one wants to on the phone. If you are loving in the way you should, you won’t have to worry about desires of getting away from you. You will be confident that your loved one would want to stay with you.
- Don’t look at each other’s Facebook pages too much
You might see girls/guys on Facebook commenting on mutual interests. This will make you worry unnecessarily. Try to stay off of each other’s Facebook.
You can also open a new joint Facebook account together. Then you will have mutual friends and everyone else on Facebook will know that you are a couple. Post a lot of couple pictures of the two of you so others get the message that both are taken, etc.
- If you are religious, have faith that God will ensure your staying together
In some things, you have to let go, release tensions and have faith.
- Do things to prevent cheating
If you and your partner agree on it, make a general relationship rule that neither of you will have close friends of the opposite sex. This is frequently the first step in affairs or cheating. The friendship might start out innocent enough, but over time it could build until an affair might happen- or at least that’s what you would be worried about.
You can also ask that your partner doesn’t stay friends with an ex, except to be close to their kid(s) in case of shared child custody/parenting.
Understand that controlling friendships is a sign of an abusive relationship. If your partner tries to stop you from being friends with anyone because of jealousy, you should begin to closely examine your relationship. On the same token, all you can do is ask your significant other not to have opposite-gender/ex-partner friends, not force that.
- If you are married (or in a sexual relationship), be intimate often
Sometimes, a lack of intimacy causes people to look elsewhere. If you want to prevent your spouse from looking elsewhere, you need to try to be available when you are needed in this area.
Understand that forcing or manipulating someone to have sex is always rape. Your significant other has no right to do that to you, and you have no right to do that either.
In the case that your significant other has a different sex drive than you, you should discuss options for you both to be satisfied in your relationship- whether that is a friends-with-benefits scenario, explicit movies or reading material, or compromises on how often you will have sex.
- Stay attractive for your partner
If you know you are attractive, you will be less likely to worry about your significant other cheating on you with someone more attractive.
Ask your partner what kinds of hair styles and clothes are attractive, etc. Take a shower every day. Brush your teeth and floss multiple times a day. Chew gum so you have fresh breath, etc. There are many things you can do to stay attractive to your partner.
The most attractive thing, though, is being a loving and kind person. Don’t work on your outside and forget about your inside, as in your heart, which shows in your attitudes and relationships. Try to be a good and romantic person so that your mate will want to stay with you. Try to be the most loving person you know, and the loved one won’t go looking for love anywhere else but with you.
- Work on building your relationship with your partner
Show genuine interest in your partner and listen. The closer the two of you are, the less likely that other person is to leave you or cheat.
Talk about your dreams with each other. Have fun and laugh together. Be each other’s best friend. Stay unified and on the same page with each other.
Be open and honest with each other. If you always have open communication, it will be a lot harder to hide any secrets from you.