“Ever since my husband and I became parents , our marriage has definitely changed. I’m not saying that it’s been terrible or anything, it’s just more work. We are now both busier than we used to be and we both have a lot more on our hands. It also seems we have both transfered all our love and attention to the baby we almost forget we also deserve the love and attention.
“I have realised that If I don’t tend to my marriage regularly, it can slowly fall apart over time and both my husband and I are working hard not to let that happen. It is the goal of my husband and I to make sure we do everything we can to keep our marriage solid, because we consider it a gift to be able to model a healthy and loving relationship for our daughters as they grow up. We are not perfect but we try to do our best in keeping our relationship interesting like it used to be before we got married.
The above were the words of Mrs Bridget Olawole a public servant and mother of three girls, while speaking exclusively to blueprint on how to keep a healthy marriage relationship.
Most marriages loose its fun relationship when children comes as they take over attention, care, love and all of that but couples can still keep the spark in their union if both are committed to each others happiness without being selfish.
Though difficult especially in Nigeria where culture is well respected and most men find it a taboo to help their wives out with home keeping, apart from providing financial needs (which most women now also do), it is not as difficult to keep the relationship with your spouse alive as we make it look.
• Here are some tips on how to keep your marriage alive
Both the husband and wife can create a daily routine that directly takes care of each other’s need for example; the husband can serve his wive a cup of tea every morning while the wive do the rest of the days meals with or without assistance from the man and both am sure will be happy.
Always confess your love for each other
This can be difficult in marriage as most couples in this part of the world do that mostly while courting. If you can’t say it write it and place it where your spouse can see, this is a nice way to shows acknowledgment and appreciation of your spouse. Even though not regularly so as not to make it boring, you can make it a random surprise.
Buy presents for your spouse
Buying presents for your spouse once in a while can be fun especially the things you know he would love and is not expecting you to buy. Presents must not cost a fortune, it can be just a favorite drink of your spouse or even small chops. This makes your spouse long to see you back home.
Most women feels buying of presents is a ‘man’s job’ NO, infact the more you give him presents you receive more from him.
Try something new
Even though you don’t like the music playing so loud as you husband likes it, try that once in a while when he is around so he will know you don’t hate what he likes as well, it can be fun when you appreciate others the way they are it helps couples bond.
Consider each other
All the little, seemingly insignificant things, are what really makes a marriage keep on ticking. Simply considering the other person is such an important thing to remember. Sometimes I get caught up in doing things for our daughter and can easily forget to spend any of my time or attention your husband. You can find other little ways to show that you consider him.
Have a night cap
You can both have a drink before bed time, this must not be alcohol but something to refresh yourselves before going to bed. This can make bedtime interesting for both of you to do something grown-ups do and reconnect at the end of the day. This could be a cocktail drink or a cup of hot tea.
Always go to bed together
Though other pressing things to be done can keep one awake but there should be a deadline for going to bed. Lying in bed and talking at the end of the day is often a good time of connecting in the midst of a busy day and going to bed at the same time also increases your chances of a little intimacy which is always strengthens marriage.
Do try to have regular date nights together. It isn’t always weekly, but just make sure that you both take time to regularly reconnect by getting away together. If you can do this weekly its fine.
Surprise each other
Always pull some surprise for your spouse just to put a smile on their face. It must not be until you buy an expensive gift or call his friends during his birthday, you can record a song or video on your smart phone and play for him when in bed together. That can be one unique way of making your spouse smile.
Hug and kiss daily
Hugs and kisses are so powerful it bonds couple more. When you make it a daily routine it reduces the tension whenever there is any little misunderstanding between you. A few months ago a couple realized that they would sometimes go a couple of days without really touching. It sounds weird, but life just gets busy sometimes. When they saw it was keeping them far from each other they instituted a daily hug and kiss rule to kiss and hug every morning and evening and whenever any of them returns from work. Many couples have had failed relationships that touching is one of the first things to go, so these daily hugs and kisses are a good way to stay connected.