How to know if you ‘re in parasitic relationship

relationship advice - How to know if you ‘re in parasitic relationship
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A parasite latches on to a host and exploits it for valuable resources necessary for its survival. If you suspect that you are in a parasitic relationship, then you must be worried that the person you are dating, much like a parasite, is sucking you dry, robbing you of emotional strength, money, time, and everything else that is valuable to you.

If you want to know if you are in a parasitic relationship, then you have to see if the following signs apply to you. And if you are, then you better get out as soon as possible. Ask yourself if your partner has to do everything with you. It’s defi nitely possible to have almost everything in common, but it’s still healthy to do some things separately and have some solitude.

• If every single time you step out of the house, even if it’s just to pick up a prescription from the pharmacy or to get coff ee, you hear your partner say, ’I’ll come, too!’ then he or she may be a parasite. • If you suddenly notice that your partner is always doing the things you used to love doing alone, from morning yoga to taking a walk after dinner, then he or she may be a parasite.

• If your partner also cannot do anything by him or herself, whether it’s to have a coff ee date with a new acquaintance or to get an oil change, and is always asking you to come along, then you may be in a parasitic relationship. Be cautious about paying for everything. Sure, everyone gets strapped for cash from time to time, but if you fi nd that you are always paying for dinner, movies, trips, and other big things like the person’s education, rent and other bills, then it’s worth examining if this is an arrangement you are comfortable with, and how your partner would respond if you, for example, you lost your income.

• Th e person might even say, ’I’d love to go out to dinner, but you know I’m so broke this month.’ Th is is a way of tricking you into paying while making you think it’s your idea.

• Even if you have tons of money to spare, this should still be a warning sign. If the person you are dating is so willing to take advantage of your money, he or she will also be just as willing to take advantage of your emotions. Are you doing excessive favors for your partner? In a healthy relationship, partners take turns doing favors for each other whenever one person needs a little help. In a parasitic relationship, one partner is always doing favours for the other and getting nothing in return. If you fi nd that you are giving your partner rides everywhere, cooking all the meals or picking them up, running errands for him, and basically taking care of all the little things he or she is too lazy to do, then you may be infected by a parasite.

• Th ough it may hurt, write two lists: one, a list of all the favours you have done for your partner, and two, a list of all the favours he or she has done for you. Th ey don’t match up, do they? See if your partner is completely asocial. This is another major problem. If any time you and your partner are out in public together, he or she refuses to talk to other people, demands your attention constantly, and generally shows no regard for others, then you need to rethink your priorities. It’s one thing if your partner is really shy, but another if he or she is rude to others or just flat-out acts like they don’t exist.

Th is is a sign that the person doesn’t see a life outside of you. See if your partner is upset any time you do your own thing. In any healthy relationship, both partners should feel comfortable doing their own thing. Th is can mean hanging out with your own friends, getting some quality family time, or just reading, running, or pursuing your own hobbies on your own time. If your partner truly loves and cares about you, then he or she should be happy when you pursue your own interests and grow as a person on your own. • If your partner is hurt, angry, jealous, or distant whenever you leave the house without him or her, even if you’re just grabbing coff ee with your cousin Sally, then he or she resents your individuality. How to know if you ‘re in parasitic relationship

• I n a h e a l t h y relationship, both partners get to talk about their problems and concerns equally. • If you feel like your partner is doing at least 80% of the talking and you’re not particularly shy, then you have a problem. • If any time you mention yourself, your partner tries to make your problems seem smaller by saying that he or she has it so much worse, then you have a problem. You never get to share your feelings. If you’re afraid to share your feelings because you think your partner will get angry and misunderstand you, or if you don’t share your thoughts and feelings because you know your partner won’t really listen, then you have a problem.

You should feel just as comfortable about sharing your thoughts, fears, and hopes as your partner does.

• B o t h p e o p l e should be able to share in a relationship, and if every time you try to talk about yourself, your partner says he or she is busy or tired, interrupts you and tries to make it all about him or herself, or just gets a glazed look that makes it clear he or she isn’t listening, then you are getting used. If there is no such thing as a compromise in your relationship. You are in a parasitic relationship if you feel like, no matter what, your partner always ends up getting exactly what he or she wants.

You may fi nd yourself giving in • If your partner checks in on you and asks when you’ll be home every five minutes when you’re out, then he or she may be a parasite. See if other people have voiced concern about your relationship. When people voice concern about your relationship, it’s natural to get defensive and to feel even more determined to prove everyone wrong by trying as hard as you can to make things work. But if you fi nd that your friends, family members, and pretty much everyone in your orbit is worried that your signifi cant other is taking advantage of you, then there may be some truth to what they’re saying. • W h e n yo u t e l l these people they are wrong, you end up driving them away. Th en your partner gets exactly what he or she wants even more of your time and attention.

Notice if your partner is always talking about his or her problems. If you can’t even remember the last time you shared your deepest fears or doubts with your partner, then you’re in hot water. If you feel like your significant other is always the one who is talking, upset, getting comfort, and seeking and getting your love and attention, then you have a problem. It’s okay if your partner is having a bad month, but if you feel like there is always something wrong in his or her life, then you may be getting used for emotional support. just because it’s easier than fi ghting, because your partner will be mad if he or she doesn’t get what he or she is after, or simply because you’ve convinced yourself that he or she must want it more. In a healthy relationship, partners work together to fi nd a decision that can make them both happy, and take turns ’giving in’ to each other.

• Sure, it’s not a big deal to give in on some of the small stuff , like about where to have dinner or what to watch on TV. But this habit can make it easier for you to give in on the big things, like deciding where to move together. You never hear any words of appreciation. When is the last time you heard your partner say how much you mean to him or her? If you can’t even remember, then you may be getting used and taken for granted. Your partner may think it’s a given that you know how much he or she loves you and how special you really are, but if your partner really cares about you, then he or she would tell you, not just assume that you know. • If you don’t even get thanked for all of the favors you’re doing, then you are definitely getting taken advantage of. • If your partner never compliments you or tells you how nice you look on date night, then you may be being used. Source:

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