Rukayya Umar Dawayya is one of the famous Kannywood actresses that held sway in the industry before she married four years ago. However, her marriage with Adamu Teku hit the rock following a slight misunderstanding. In this interview with ALIYU ASKIRA in Kano, Dawayya reveals her marital travails as the 23rd woman to be married and divorced by her polygamous husband.
Your marriage was only four years old when it crashed. Does that confirm what people often say that Kannywood actresses hardly stay-put in marriage?
Well, God is my witness. It was unfortunate that I married a man that has no value for marital institution. I learnt that he divorced over fifteen different women before me. So, mine was not an exception. Again, people should discard that assertion, and accept the fact that whatever God destined to happen it will come and pass no matter how one try to change it to the contrary.
Do you have proof that your former husband is the type that changes women like cloth?
Of course! My son Arafat is his eleventh child and all of them are from different mother, apart from some women that he married and divorced before they bear issue for him. His wife in the house now is the seventh and she told me he married about fifteen other women apart from her and she is the seventh so we are talking of more than 23 women.
If that is the case, why did you not try to find out details about him before you commit yourself?
Well, I did but it was only in Abuja where he is staying. I did not go to his home town in Adamawa state. All I did was to find out about his religious commitment and whether the job he is doing is legal or not. However, after I married him, his own grown up daughter that is staying with me exposed everything to me. Even in their village people used to mock his children that their father can’t stay with a woman for so long. As a result, they hardly mixed freely with people.
For how long did you people court each other before the marriage?
We courted for only two months. All I wanted then was to get married and settle down. So, when he approached me for a marriage, I did not give conditions, I accepted. My intention was to make the marriage work.
After you realized the type of person he is, what step did you take?
I did all I could, including prayers and total submission to him to make the marriage work. I never gave up and never contemplated he would divorce me. He even used to tell me I am different from the other women he married before. All these encouraged me a lot to stay on but yet we parted.
What then was his reaction when he learnt that you are pregnant, did he still cater to your needs?
I started noticing changes in him immediately I got pregnant. Of course I was told earlier that he does not want any more children which I complied, yet the unexpected happened. He never told me himself that he does not want more children but he laid down some rules to me that are purely un-islamic. In fact, I cannot mention them on pages of newspaper, at least he is still the father of my child.
Hmm. Not at all! Thank God I have my own money before I married him. Though I was not trading at the time, but my money was into the market people were doing business for me. So I took good care of myself at least I own myself, my body and my health.
What then was the immediate reason for a divorce; did you people quarrel or something?
Well, to me the closest explanation I can offer is, he just wanted me to go, because he created an environment that no woman would accept to bear. At times he would ask me if I regretted marrying him and I would say no. He did all he could to frustrate me but I endured. In fact, severally I told him I would never go home or ask for divorce.
When my mother came to Kano from Saudi Arabia, I asked for his permission to go and see her. He asked me how many days did I want to be away I said five days. He agreed. When I left, he never called me for days and on the third day, he sent me a text message and said he divorced me after my Iddah I should marry whoever I wish.
Is he planning to get married again?
Yes, I learnt he has finalized plan to marry one young girl that has just finished secondary school. He wanted my house to put her that was why he divorced me. I remember at a point when I was becoming close to his other wife he became worried because he knew she would brief me about his secrets that I didn’t know. Of course she told me everything about him, he has another woman he married from Cairo, Egypt, when he was about to marry me he sent her home, and she is yet to return.
What is next on your card?
Well, I want to marry again as quickly as possible. As for acting, I am yet to decide on that. My joy is that I got a bouncing baby boy that I am proud of. I got him legally through proper marriage, Allah Hamdulillahi.
