Infidelity is arguably the major cause of strains in relationships and even divorce, with African society often hiding under the argument that men are polygamous in nature to accommodate ‘cheating.’ However, the upsurge in Deoxyribonucleic Acid (DNA) tests revealing that women often pass on children not biologically belonging to their husbands have often led to crashed marriages. PAUL OKAH reports.
Nowadays, it is common to hear of relationships and even marriages crashing faster than they were contracted as a result of allegations of cheating on either the man or the woman. Cases abound of once-in-love couples dragging themselves to court in quest of divorce.
Deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA) tests, commonly called paternity tests in Nigeria, have not been helping matters as negative results have often opened a can of worms, especially with regards to infidelity on the part of wives, leading to crashed relationships or marriages.
Last week, a civil servant, Michael Mokoena, known for flaunting ‘his’ child and the child’s mother on Facebook, shared a heartbreaking update after discovering that the child isn’t his after all.
Mokoena, in a recent Facebook post, referred to his child’s mother as his soul mate and revealed an interesting conversation they had, but took to Facebook a day later to reveal that DNA tests had shown that he wasn’t the biological father of the child.
Also, a couple in Delta state, Victor Chukwutem Inalu and Onyinye Onome, inundated the social media platforms with details of their marital crisis because he demanded a DNA test as prelude to his divorcing his wife, who had accused him of being gay and sexually molesting their son.
Onyinye Onome, in a series of Facebook posts and live videos, alleged that her husband sexually molested their nine-month-old baby and that her life was in danger for exposing her husband.
However, Victor said his wife fabricated the lies because he requested a DNA test on their son as a prelude to divorcing her over the constant crisis in their marriage.
He said: “My attention has been drawn to a post/publication made by my wife, wherein she made several serious allegations, which are defaming in nature. These allegations touch on my character. I am surprised at my wife’s disposition with respect to the challenges our marriage is undergoing. These allegations are very serious and they were personally orchestrated by wife. May I, at this point, condemn the same as they are false and frivolous. All these allegations are coming because I requested for a DNA test and dissolution of our marriage because she has become cruel and hostile to me at any slightest misunderstanding.”
Celebrities not left out
On September 3, last year, the ex-wife of comedian and talk show host, Chinedu Ani, aka Nedu, Uzoamaka Ohiri, accused him of domestic violence and wondered why he was still being allowed to anchor a radio programme on marriage. She said he beat her days after she had just been delivered of a baby through surgery.
However, in a post on Instagram on September 4, last year, Nedu said he never assaulted her during their marriage, adding that she was unfaithful during the relationship and brought an illegitimate child home that was uncovered through a DNA test.
A DNA test result signed by one Dr. Harvey Tenenbaum posted by Nedu, the president at Viaguard Accu-metrics, Ontario, Canada on June 24, 2019, stated that the possibility of Nedu being the father of the child in question was zero per cent.
He said: “Our marriage was one plagued with a lot of issues. One of which was continuous infidelity from her side that led to me conducting a paternity test on our kids, which led to the revelation that our first son is not my biological son, even though he was born within the period during which we were married.
“On the allegation of domestic violence, we have had this matter investigated twice, one by the police station in Ajah and another by a competent court of law during the dissolution of our marriage. Both times, I was cleared of all allegations and I have the necessary proof to back up my claim. If anyone should be laying claims to domestic violence, it should be me. If she has any issues to join me with, she is free to file her complaints and approach any court of competent jurisdiction to pursue justice.”
Nigerians’ views
Speaking with this reporter, a marriage counsellor, Mrs. Chinelo Obinwa, said couples can go for DNA tests to settle suspicions of infidelity in marriages as positive tests will cement the marriage and re-build trust.
She said: “A man has a right to know the situation of things in his home. If a man requests for DNA, three things are likely the reason. It is either he doesn’t trust you as his wife or he doesn’t trust he can father a child or there was someone close to him that had a paternity fraud case and he is scared. The way women keep dishing out babies that are not their husband’s is frightening. So, I won’t blame any man that will seek for DNA, at least to be sure of what you are doing.
“As a woman, I don’t see why I should get angry over a DNA test knowing full well that I didn’t cheat. I can only be angry if I cheated because it means my sins will be made open. If you trust yourself, you won’t have issues with your husband just because he asked for DNA of his children. Ladies, if you want your husband to have more trust in you, advise him to take your children for a DNA test, not the other way round. Any woman who will dislike her husband just because he wants to be sure of the paternity of his children wants to show she is guilty of promiscuity. As the saying goes, a clear conscience fears no accusation.
“I told my husband when I was pregnant, if you don’t follow me to the hospital on the day of delivery, be ready to conduct a paternity test on the baby, because I don’t want anybody to exchange my baby. So, whether trust or distrust, nobody wants to train another man’s child without knowing. Do you know how many men who trusted their wives, yet they were given children not theirs to father?
On his part, a social commentator, Peter Akande, told this reporter that many ladies are often impregnated by their boyfriends before getting married, thereby foisting the child they had with their boyfriends on their husbands.
“The day ladies begin to marry who is ready, instead of whom they love, is the day paternity fraud started. 80 per cent of married women today don’t love their husbands. They just married their husbands because they were ready and possibly had money, coupled with age not being by their side. That’s why the issue of paternity fraud is on the increase. 80 per cent of women hardly leave their ex boyfriends immediately after they’re married. Thus, their very first offspring is usually a product of adultery and they can’t hide their real selves for so long in marriages. Give them a maximum of five years and you’ll begin to see traits of their single days.
“Sometimes, I don’t blame men when they demand for DNA tests. I could remember years back when my girlfriend then got married and still wanted to be sleeping with me. Fear most ladies, they don’t have respect for marriage. These cases of DNA are on the increase as a result of ladies getting married to whom they don’t love, just because the men are rich or her family pressured a woman to get married or she is desperate to answer Mrs. and some other reasons. You see them going back to the one they love to continue where they stopped. You can’t eat your cake and have it back. It wasn’t this way back in the days.
“In fact, no man needs the permission of a woman to do DNA tests. It’s called a paternity test for a reason. This thing can be done even before a cock can crow with no one knowing. You only disclose the result if it doesn’t match yours as a supposed father. Women should relax and stop feeling pressured because of the DNA test. Unfortunately, more frauds are being detected because of these DNA tests, despite the fact that women try hard to blackmail men for trust,” he said.
