MultiChoice as fair-weather friend

Subscribers to MultiChoice’s DStv may already know this: That MultiChoice are unusually ‘nice’ when they want you to part with your money. That is when they put a call through to your number to know ‘how’ you are ‘doing’, akin to the Shylock who just ‘looked’ in. Note that this call is usually timed to your subscription due date.
As a subscriber, I try to pay my subscription in good time. I even try to make multiple payments months in advance. So, only rarely do I get their reminder message to renew my account. But, this time around I delayed.

Then, I got the reminder messages on my television. These were not enough. They were followed by a blitzkrieg on my phone. Then, you guessed right! It was the proverbial call from MultiChoice; and they had this guy on me who was trying to ‘play nice’. I knew all the tricks. Unfortunately for the caller it was during a busy period for me.

I told him that I was sorry, that I was quite busy. He pressed on. I reiterated that I was busy. He then asked me when he could call back. But I would not spare my time. Not this time! Still, he pressed on. This guy was now ‘in my hair’. With a note of finality, I said, “Unless I won a jackpot, please don’t call back!”

Meanwhile, DStv subscriptions keep going up, instead of coming down like what is happening in the telecoms industry, despite their huge, and still increasing subscriber base.

Their research and development department is not looking for a way to forestall the disappearance of signals when it rains.
If you need to upgrade, if your television is not on, it won’t work. As power is not reliable, you might need to tell your family to waste fuel just to upgrade your account. Unnecessary expenses! And if nobody is at home while you are paying your subscription you need to call them when you get back home to redirect you, as most times, the sms method, which is not free, does not work.
But their number is not toll-free, either. So when you call, it is at your own cost. Remember, you still have to do some ‘waiting’ before they answer. The decoder even takes eternity to booth. But they are busy running promos or jackpots to woo even more customers, of which ‘they’ alone perhaps know ‘those’ people who have won!

Cosmas Odoemena,
Lagos