Comedy has always come to humankind and their existence as therapeutic, an ecstatic panacea to the despondent and hopeless person(s) at all parts of the world, times and seasons. Like music, it does several functions such as a melodic medium for driving home messages, teaching customs and traditions of a people, stirring sorrows away, anesthetic system for dissipating depression and distress, misery and melancholy. Moreover, it is a practical euphemism for eloquence – speaking out loudly and sometimes sarcastically – in ways that a purpose can hardly be achieved otherwise. A video clip episode of one of the upcoming comedians that went viral recently demonstrates as in a journey metaphor what the Nigeria citizens are currently experiencing, using one of the flash points states, Imo, as an example. The name of the now embattled Imo state governor is Hope Uzodimma. If you are to translate the surname (Uzodimma) to English language and join that to the first name (Hope), you will get a wondering sentence in question form of what sounds like this “I hope the road is good”. Without stealing away the fun of the comedy episode I intend to narrate, it is my preference to hint you with the background.
A lady passenger flags down a commercial bike supposedly on one of the many deplorable roads in Imo state, the only ruling All Progressives Congress (APC) party in the core five Igbo states in Nigeria. She carefully inquires before mounting the bike after negotiating conclusively the fare asking, “I hope uzoa dimma”. With quick nodding and well audible voice came the response from the bike man thus, “Yeah, uzo dimma ofuma ofuma”. On the strength of that confirmation that the road is good, she confidently mounted the bike only to be caught off guards shortly after hitting the road.
The worst part of the stretch of the road where they found time to swerve into a ditch, first and then a mud and finally negotiated collapsing and crumbling completely into the dirty water. She is on her best costume, a bright sparkling outing wear… now you can imagine. She is bittered, traumatized, disillusioned, despaired, weary and weak, and guess what, turned tigress and temperamental as she screams and shouted, hitting the bikeman with all the strength she can summon. Is the point sinking now? Are you seeing what I saw, sorry “sawing?” Bob Marley asks “long time ago” (apologies to Fela) in his music, “Are you satisfied with the life you are living” Nigerians. Ironically, it has gotten to the level that whosoever is comfortably and conveniently living a convivial lifestyle in the Nigeria of the present, will be automatically regarded as having hand, directly or indirectly, in the widespread misfortunes of the citizenry. The hardship is palpable. The reality of the matter is that the hope that our Nigeria “uzo” (road) is not “dimma” (good at all) as we speak.
From Lagos state in the South-west to Imo, Anambra, Abia, Ebonyi and Enugu states all in the South-east stretching up the entire Northern block, the volatile stage it has reached is, to be economical with words, glaring and appalling. Come to think of it, we obviously seem to have a docile political top leadership who appears enclosed in, restricted to the presidential palace premises, reveling excessively while totally witless and oblivious of the happenings outside his cozy immediate environment (his alien world and our own society called Nigeria). Methinks, we are goners!!!
Two volumes of an entire book will be grossly inadequate to list the now daily incidents of killings, mass school/individual kidnapping, banditry, Boko Haramism, attack on security forces settlement centers such as barracks, and many more barbarous and brutal operations carried out by the undesirable elements who are seemingly enjoying government immunity. But this is not about reckoning of statistics. And like King Pharaoh of Egypt in the book of Exodus in the Holy Bible enjoins his astrologers to rectify the plagues (curses) brought upon his land by God through Prophet Moses with their magical prowess and powers, only to realize that they are exacerbating the entire bad situation, likewise, the men of the Nigeria Police Force, the military are bidded and deployed to throw their weight and wield their arsenal and crush the indigenous security apparatus outside Northern Nigeria who are ably protecting their people from the onslaught of their invaders. And when the media clamouring gets too worrisome, the president will be pushed out of his closet with prepared and doctored speech to read it out to whom it may concern, and run back to where he’s coming from with a pat on his back. Are you adding figures to get to somewhere… Balderdash!
Today it is practically becoming a mirage for anyone to sleep with the two eyes closed unless you have missed your ancestors enough. If you dare to do that, the possibility of being caught unawares midnight or noon, is enormous. There is ongoing unconventional war presently restricted to Northern Nigeria with casualties running into thousands if not millions on one hand and rumours of orthodox battle across the federation. The sound of the drums of war is loud, continuous and undimmed. The nation is painfully bleeding! “There is fire on the mountain and no one is running!!!” Asa cries and cries, and then weeps sore! If sleeping is now an illusion, interstate movement in Nigeria is a dire nightmare. Economic repercussions and social dilemma, which engenders mistrust among the different ethnic nationalities, are widening and shall be irreversible in no time at all.
If I leave this open ended without proffering or suggesting a practicable quick fix, that will surely contradict my principle of resolution minded consciousness in all aspects of human endeavours. But I have lamented enough. I have languished satisfactorily, along with most Nigerians. We, in unison have lacked, lost and been limited largely by this suffocating government that the strength to speak any longer is gone. Only 3Rs words will salvage Nigeria, as it was only active on papers after the war, so let us now implement either of these 3Rs. The now defunct 3Rs are, Reconstruction, Reintegration and Rehabilitation.Shall we, with gumption and God fearfulness, gun for Referendum, Restructuring and Reparations for the marginalized ethnicities in Nigeria?So help us God.Orajiaku, freelance journalist and social activist, writes via 08035530832