Oracle Paul as an octopus of God

As at the beginning of this outgoing week, I never knew I would return so soon to this space to bore you with another topic anchored on prophecies, even though we are all dying to know what lies ahead of us, which is what prophecy is all about.

Last week, in this space, I wrote an epistle about my prophetic feats while growing up… how I could prophesy what would unfold minutes, hours or days ahead. And everything was coming to pass… even to my amazement. All I needed to do was to gaze into the sky for a short while and I would spew out prophecies. I was not stargazing at the stars. Anyway, you cannot sight the stars while prophesying in the daytime, let alone gaze at them?

I had prophesied that the rain would fall even when there was no gathering of the dark clouds. Last week, I forgot to recall the disappointment that suffused the face of one of my kid hunters when we hunted down a bush rat before the sun went down. We had spent a lot of time digging a molehill that harboured the animal. When darkness was threatening to end our efforts, my fellow kid hunters asked me to use my prophetic prowess to stagnate the sun until we were done, like Prophet Joshua did while the Israelites were at war with the Amorites on their way to the Promised Land. We continued digging and just as the sun was about to spread darkness over us, we got the animal. But the one that was more interested in me commanding the sun to stagnate was not happy at all. He was more interested in a stagnant sun! 

A couple of days after the Super Falcons were bundled out of the ongoing Women’s FIFA World Cup Finals in faraway France by the German ladies in the second round, contrary to the prophecy of a popular Ebonyi-based Pastor, Rev. Simeon Ononogbu, the so-called man of God came out to blame “deceitful spirit” for the failed prediction. The prophet had foretold that the Super Falcons would reach the semi-finals of the tournament.

Ononogbu, a self-acclaimed forecaster, had predicted in an interview that the Falcons would reach the semi-finals of the tournament, while the hosts, France would place fifth (best placed quarter-finalists).

The seer, a one-time Secretary of the Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN), said the failure of the prophecy meant that it was not a revelation from God.

His words: “We have so many spirits that can deceive people and if we are not careful, we will make mistakes such as this”.

He said that several spirits abound which behave like God’s spirit to talk and deceive men of God.

He was also quoted as saying: “The Bible says that some spirits at times transform into angels of light to talk to us. We have fallen spirits that deceive the children of God because we are humans and weaker than the other spirits”.

Ononogbu, however, revealed that the prophecy on the Falcons could also have fallen flat because he failed to interpret the revelation properly. “At times when we don’t interpret properly, we will have problems out of it and this can also be seen as a wrong interpretation,” he said.

My candid advice to Prophet Ononogbu and his fellow travellers is that they should stay away from soccer prophecy. They should go and read John 10: 4-5. A true man of God will recognise the voice God and not that of a deceitful spirit they blame when their predictions fall flat.

The A high profile Pentecostal pastor based in Lagos once dabbled into the business, foretelling the outcome of matches involving the Super Eagles, ostensibly to attract attention and patronage from the dollarised players. He got his fingers burnt in the end. After a couple of guess works that fell into place, the others failed him. He fled the scene in shame. These folks should leave the business of predicting the outcomes of games, especially football to experts like us who are gifted by God. Many of these so-called prophets of God have also dabbled into political predictions that blew on their faces as witnessed in the last presidential poll. Inspired by bias, some of them predicted doom for President Muhammadu Buhari. But they ended up swimming against the tide.

Before I retired from soccer prophecy while on the sports desk of the Nigeria Standard Newspapers of Jos in the early 80s, I made a prediction that stunned the entire nation. It was at the Libya ’82 Africa Cup of Nations Finals. The Green Eagles as the defending champions, having won the trophy in 1980, had fought their way to the quarter-finals and were pitched against the Kenneth Kaunda XI as the Zambian national team were known then. I made a prediction that the Eagles would crash out at that stage. Those who knew me for prediction accuracy never doubted me but had hoped that such unpatriotic prophecy would not come to pass. But it did! The match was played on a Saturday. On Monday, a white couple who were friends of my managing director, Mr. S. D. Makama, who later became the Chairman of the National Population Commission, visited him in the office and requested that he took them to my office. They wanted to see the fearless soccer prophet. The couple were full of admiration for me and were curious to know how I made such prediction with pinpoint accuracy. I told them it was a gift from God backed by my deep knowledge of the two teams and their antecedents. 

When I left the scene, one Sam Akpabot, a professor of Music at the University of Ibadan, surfaced and addressed himself as the Oracle of Ibadan. The accuracy of his predictions of outcomes of matches involving the Super Eagles was such that the then Nigeria Football Association’s officials practically worshipped him by inviting him to all their matches. A few years before his demise, his predictions began to fail, giving everyone the impression that they could have been inspired by guess work!   

Perhaps, God was pissed off by self-styled prophets like Ononogbu, who mocked His name by making false predictions, that He raised an octopus named Oracle Paul in the late 2000s.

The clairvoyant marine creature, just a few months old began to attract the attention of soccer pundits when it correctly predicted the results of four out of six matches involving its adopted country, Germany, during the Euro 2008 Championship. Its modus operandi was to wrap itself around the symbol of one of the two competing nations deposited in its tank.

Not wanting to be humbled, the pundits attributed the uncanny exploits to chances. But the soccer prophets left no one in doubt regarding its prediction prowess when it accurately forecast the outcomes of seven matches played by Germany at the 2010 FIFA World Cup Finals hosted by South Africa and the grand finale between Spain and the Netherlands. The stunning feats brought more fame to Paul. It also became a target of international scorn. For instance, the then Iranian President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, criticised it and accused the West of using the mollusc to manipulate people’s minds through superstition. And after its prediction of Argentina’s defeat in the hands of Germany, an Argentine chef, Nicholas Bedorrou, posted an octopus recipe on facebook. But the soccer forecaster demonstrated that its predictions were not influenced by bias when it foretold the dismantling of the German machines by Spain in the semis. The disgraced German soccer fans branded it a traitor and resolved that it was long overdue for a barbecue! The prime minister of Spain offered to send protection to the oracle in its enclave in Oberhausen.

After the Mundial, Paul’s celebrity status grew remarkably. Its tank was festooned with flags of participating countries and a replica of the World Cup. It also won a book deal movie contract and advertisement endorsements. A record was also waxed on You Tube and played on the CNN. Even England where its egg was hatched before being moved to Oberhausen made it an official ‘ambassador’ for their 2018 World Cup bid.

Although Oracle Paul went into premature retirement after the 2010 Mundial, the possibility of forcing it out of retreat to be part of the Euro 2012 championship was not ruled out if it had lived. The average lifespan of an octopus is two years. But the celebrated octopus of God lived for two and a half years! Ironically, it could not predict its own death and passed on towards the end of October, 2010.

During Oracle Paul’s short lifetime, I was humbled by its exploits even though mine lasted for close to 10 years without failing also. God has a way of humbling us, inclusive of the so-called high profile men of God that have weaponised their ministries to enrich themselves at the expense of their poor congregations. Whatever they think they can do, God can raise animals to do better!

As the 2019 AFCON tournament unfolds in Egypt, many soccer buffs out there would be thinking about how to seduce me out of retirement. Well, I am sorry to disappoint them. I have paid my dues. Let others come up.

End of story.

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