In the Arabian Nights, a story is told of a stupendously rich man named Barmecide who invited his friend to dine with him. Dishes were served in due order but there were no victuals in them. However, Barmecide pretended to eat and his guest had the politeness to imitate him. It was from this account that the phrase “Barmecide Feast” was coined. It simply means a banquet where there is nothing to eat. (Nevertheless, at the end of the phantom dinner, Barmecide called for dishes with meals and the guest was well fed in appreciation of his sense of humour).
Nigeria perfectly fits into this account. Since 1999 when the current democratic dispensation was foisted on this country, successive leaderships have been treating us (their friends) to the Barmecide Feast. Nigeria is stupendously rich like Barmecide but the masses have been wallowing in abject poverty… no food to eat. Forget about the current economic downturn. From Obasanjo to Yar’Adua and Jonathan… they were all afflicted by Barmecidal syndrome.
It was perhaps in a bid to end the syndrome that President Muhammadu Buhari was voted to replace the most Barmecidal of them all – Jonathan. It was during Jonathan’s occupation that the masses were treated to the famed feast. But unlike the Arabian Barmecide who later compensated his guest for his sense of humour, the masses that mimicked Jonathan were left to “eat” from the empty dishes.
Nevertheless, a handful of powerful individuals managed to get Jonathan to appreciate their sense of humour and were later served with sumptuous dishes that would not only last them for life but also their offspring until thy kingdom come!
The powerful and influential individuals that were later treated to the dinner are now being dragged all over the place by the hounds of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) and also standing trial for all manner of corruption cases in the law courts. Never in the history of this country have we been treated to this kind of monumental spectacle. During the Shagari regime which was toppled by the duo of Buhari/Idiagbon on December 31, 1983, the most corrupt politician could only boast of N1bn.
But in his second coming (without his soul mate, Tunde), it is difficult to pinpoint the richest among the multi-billionaires that the Jonathan regime has churned out. And the producer of these rich individuals that cornered our collective wealth for themselves and their families was recently at his boastful best when he said that his administration has produced more billionaires than any other regime before it.
And I am sure there will be none after him to break the record!
Under the watch of the multi-billionaire producer, the anti-graft agencies like the EFCC and its conjoined twin, the Independent Corrupt Practices and other Related Offences Commission (ICPC), could only clap as the organised stealing of our patrimony (not corruption) was being carried out for close to more than five years. This country is well endowed. No other country under the sun could have remained standing after five years of relentless looting. I tell you!
Curiously, unlike in the Second Republic and lately during the Obasanjo era, no military chiefs had their hands filled with filthy lucre. But under the Jonathan regime, military brass and thieving politicians struggled for supremacy in the race to loot the nation’s till. Until lately, I couldn’t believe that such huge quantum of money, both in local and hard currencies, could be so light as to develop wings and fly out of the shores of this country.We are talking about billions of dollars here.
Politicians were not alone.
Men of God(?) were not left out. Billions of naira were allocated to some pastors under the umbrella of CAN or Christian Association of Nigeria to canvass for votes from the Christendom. A high profile bishop, pumped with filthy lucre, was even said to have threatened to fling open the Gate of Hell to torment us if Nigeria failed to return Jonathan to Aso Rock Villa. Possibly, he made good his promise. It cannot be worse than this… living in Hellgeria! Elsewhere, the cleric would have been held accountable for the hell of a place this country has become. In fact, they would have forced him to ask the tormentor-in-chief he invited from Gehenna to leave us alone because this is democracy, and not theocracy (from hell?), where majority is expected to have both the say and the way.
It is a year into the administration of President Muhammadu Buhari. Armed to the hilt with “Change mantra”, he was expected to understand the suffering of the downtrodden friends of Barmecide and serve them with dishes filled with victuals. But so far, nothing seems to have changed despite the quantum of loots recovered. After all, the President had told us shortly upon assuming office on May 29, last year, that we should brace up for at least three more months of Barmicide experience. It is one year now and nothing has CHANGED. Except that the high profile friends of Barmecide have been very visible lately at the Aso Rock Villa dinning with him, while the rest of us are condemned to watch and imitate them.
Pray, when will it be our turn to partake in the real victuals?
