Vagina Blues: What you need to know

A wise girl saw some of her male classmates plucking mangoes. She pleaded for one, but they refused and asked her to climb.  She climbed and plucked as many as possible. When she got home, her mother asked, “Ngozi, how did you get all these mangoes? She replied, “I asked my classmates to give me, they refused and told me to climb”. “So I climbed the tree and plucked them”. The mother shouted and said, “Foolish girl, don’t you know that they want to see your pant?” The girl smiled and said, “I know mama, that’s why I removed it before climbing”.
This article is for men and discusses what you need to know about this all important female body part, the Vagina (also called the birth canal). This is a no holds barred health information supplement for you. If you cannot deal with such details, then please stop reading now. If you can, just lie back and enjoy.

There have been many articles attesting to the joys of regular sex and the many health benefits. In fact, one article recommended that women should go to bed without knickers in order to air out the Vagina during sleep. Men like that, as it sends the ‘right’ signals. It is also nice to perhaps have a late night shower!
A comedian once said that the best adornment to wear for it is ‘specticles’. And if you are taking it out for exercise, you should ensure it is in pretty good shape and looking fine.
Many men prefer a shaved Vagina and I do prescribe it for you. It is important in order to enjoy the act of sex: visually, geographically and maximally as PSQUARE would say. Further, you should use all your senses when in front of the Vagina and do not just be ruled by your ‘brain’! Be in tune to all the different sensory stimuli from your partner.

I won’t go into any sordid details but you need to appreciate the smell from the Vagina you are interacting with. This is from the health point of view. The Vagina should smell fresh and natural without insulting the nostrils. Odd smells reminiscent of the fish joint or ‘mama put’ bukkateria should be frowned upon. Insist on an open discussion and an explanation before further events and do not proceed to GO. Discuss the issue of discharges, even menstrual flow and infection openly with your partner and show you care. Of course, you care about the health and well being of BOTH of you.
Let’s make one important point about cleanliness of the Vagina. Douching is washing or cleaning out the Vagina with water or other mixtures of fluids. It is not recommended and appears to cause more harm than good. The Vagina has its own resident bacteria which the normal acidity of the Vagina keeps under control. But douching can change this delicate balance. This may make a woman more prone to vaginal infections. Plus, douching can spread existing vaginal infections up into the uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries.

Visual inspection and admiration of the Vagina enhances sexual intercourse. It is also of real health benefit. Look for rash, cold sores and blisters which may indicate scabies or even Herpes. Be aware of vaginal discharges including bleeding during sex. Evaluate the discharge or secretions from the Vagina for normality.
For example, cervical cancer causes odd smelly discharges, bleeding and pain during sex. Ask questions about routine assessments by the doctor and encourage your partner to seek help. I think that every household should have their own gynaecologist/ obstetrician. Learn to share!
Everyone should be appalled by female genital mutilation (FGM) as still practised in some parts of Nigeria. Should you know of anyone who believes in this criminal act, please kindly report them to the police. FGM spoils the beauty of the Vagina and should be abolished forever.

Some Vaginas make noise as if you are on a joke fart pillow. And some others make a sloshing sound due to so much vaginal secretions or perhaps a poor fit. You decide. It could be that you need a penile enlargement or maybe she needs a tailor. I know a good one!
Is sex painful for your partner? All that exercise too much for the Vagina to take? It might not be down to your own physical fitness and prowess. Painful sex can be due to bacterial vaginosis, vaginitis, vaginismus and rough sex. Listen to your partner for sounds of joy and not cries of pain.

It takes time, practice and an anatomy lesson to appreciate the feel of the Vagina and navigate your way to all the hot spots without using Global Positioning Satellite. Most of the Vagina is erogenous but a combination of touches and feel allow you to discover what works for your partner.
The G-spot is one of those favourite places that many men look for. It’s one of the wonders of the world and worth revisiting time and time again. Once you find it in the Vagina, your woman becomes or can become putty in your hands.
Please don’t ask me where it is!

NB: Whatever became of the advocacy against the abusive practice of sexual exploitation of babies/girls from poor families by men old enough to be their grandfathers? What was achieved? Has this paedophilia stopped or abated? Just a question!

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